UnLucky
by Instead of Reality
Summary: Simon thought it was lucky to be in love with his best friend. Pre-City of Bones. One shot song-fic.


**Un-Lucky**

**A Mortal Instruments Song-Fic**

**Song:** "Lucky" by Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat

**Author's Note:** This song isn't 100% perfect for these two characters, but the idea and the lyrics work. This is before we find out that Jace and Clary might just be siblings. (I own none of these wonderful characters; copyright belongs to Cassandra Clare. I own none of the lyrics.)

**Author's Note:** Yes, it's spelled 'Un-Lucky,' instead of 'unlucky.' It's for a reason.

* * *

She's not listening to me.

Again.

Sometimes it's like she's on another continent.

I am used to it, okay, _should_ be used to it.

I shouldn't be hurt, really shouldn't.

I know I'm not that interesting.

Hell, that's one reason I started the band with Eric.

Something interesting about me.

And it's something else to think about.

Besides her.

--

_Do you hear me? I'm talking to you_

_Across the water, across the deep blue ocean_

_Under the open sky, oh my, baby, I'm trying_

--

I try. Really.

I try getting her attention.

I've practiced in front of the bathroom mirror in my house what I want to say.

It's a little pathetic, I know.

But I just can't make myself cross that border.

I'm scared that she won't love me the way I love her.

Yeah, I used the "L" word.

What if she only wants to be friends?

What if she laughs at me?

I'd rather stay her best friend than lose her.

--

_Boy, I hear you in my dreams_

_I feel your whisper across the sea_

_I keep you with me in my heart_

_You make it easier when life gets hard_

--

I don't know what I would do without him.

He's been my best friend for forever.

He's like the brother I never had.

If I didn't have him, I don't know how I'd survive.

Sometimes I catch him staring at me.

It's kind of weird.

I don't know what he's thinking when he's looking at me.

People constantly think he's my boyfriend.

Simon? I've never considered it before.

Not sure I want to consider it.

He's just always been there for me.

--

_I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend_

_Lucky to have been where I've been_

_Lucky to be coming home again_

--

She doesn't really have other friends.

Just me.

Makes her more _mine_.

I know her backwards and forwards, inside and out.

Well, there's one way I don't know her.

I've never dared to kiss her.

But I have the freedom to touch her, whenever I want.

Though it's restricted by our friendship.

I can hug her and tickle her and pick her up and she doesn't flinch.

So I guess it's lucky to be in love with your best friend.

--

_They don't know how long it takes_

_Waiting for a love like this_

_Every time we say goodbye_

_I wish we had one more kiss_

_I'll wait for you, I promise you, I will_

--

I haven't always loved her.

At least, not like this.

But it didn't take me long to fall for the little freckled red-haired girl.

And since then, I've been waiting for my chance

And only recently have I gotten anywhere near to bringing up the idea of _us._

You have no idea how long that takes.

She thinks that I hate going to Pandemonium.

But, secretly, I like it.

I get to wrap my arms around her as we weave back and forth,

Her back pressed against my chest.

I get to pretend she's mine.

Maybe, after a little more waiting, she will be.

Patience is something I've learned—something I need.

I'll outwait anyone for Clary.

_--_

_I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend_

_Lucky to have been where I've been_

_Lucky to be coming home again_

_Lucky we're in love in every way_

_Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed_

_Lucky to be coming home someday_

--

There have been other guys who've been interested in her.

I made it clear to them that they don't mess with _my_ Clary.

I've always been a permanent part of Clary.

We're a duo,

Rosencrantz & Guildenstern have nothing on Clary & Simon.

"Attached at the hip" my mom calls it.

Eric adds some other anatomically interesting innuendo to that.

I wish.

I'm lucky I've been her best friend for all these years.

She can't replace me, something I've been striving for

One step closer to where I want to be

--

_And so I'm sailing though the sea_

_To an island where we'll meet_

_You'll hear the music fill the air_

_I'll put a flower in your hair_

--

I dream so often about her

And in my dreams—not my nightmares—I've always crossed that last remaining gap

That last ocean that separates us

That damn friend zone

Some day she will have that moment, that revelation where she will realize that I am the one for her

We can cue the Hollywood-Movie-Music

Do the whole run-down-the-beach-towards-each-other-in-slow-motion-thing

I'll finally kiss her and hold her

Run my fingers through her red hair

And we will be together forever

--

_Though the breezes, through trees, move so pretty_

_You're all I see_

_As the world keeps spinning 'round_

_You hold me right here, right now_

--

Without Simon, things might be a lot different.

I'd probably just have my mom and Luke.

Simon's kept me grounded.

He's the only one who knows about my sketchpad.

The world as I know it has disappeared.

My mother is gone

Vampires and werewolves and demons are real

And I can see them

And that Jace, the Shadowhunter

I don't know how to feel about him

Without Simon, I wouldn't have my sanity.

I love my best friend.

--

_I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend_

_Lucky to have been where I've been_

_Lucky to be coming home again_

_Lucky we're in love in every way_

_Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed_

_Lucky to be coming home someday_

--

She's met someone else.

Another male has invaded my territory.

I can see her fascination with him.

Damn him and his good lucks and his charm

Damn that Jace

The way she looks at him—a way I'd have killed to have her look at me the same

Why the hell did he have to show up?

Right when I had found the courage to tell her how I feel.

Damn him.

And I see it now, she'll turn to me for comfort and consolation

He's a warrior, a what-you-call-it-Shadow-Hunter

Whatever the hell that is.

She'll fall in love with this Jace and if he's smart, he'll fall even harder for her

And I'll hear every freaking detail of it

She'll tell me about their first kiss, how freaking wonderful he is.

And I'll wonder how the hell he did it.

And know that I would do better.

That he can't love her like I love her.

Yeah, I used the "L" word again.

I can't be replaced; I know I mean a lot to her

But I may just have lost my last chance to make her mine

I'll always just be Simon the Best Friend

Dammit.

My worst nightmare has come true.

It's not so lucky to be in love with your best friend.

No, it's damn unlucky.

* * *

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